The Hidden Handbrake on Leadership
Ego is a quiet saboteur. It doesn’t crash through the door wearing a villain’s mask — it creeps in disguised as confidence, conviction, or even “standards.” But make no mistake: when ego drives, leadership suffers.
Most people assume ego is a sign of strength. The loud voice at the head of the table. The person who always has the final say. The one who claims the credit and won’t tolerate being questioned. But that’s not strength — that’s insecurity with a louder volume.
True confidence doesn't need to shout. It doesn’t need to win every argument or dominate every decision. Confidence listens. Ego doesn’t. Ego interrupts, dismisses, and defends — not because it's certain, but because it's scared. Scared of being wrong, of losing status, of looking weak. And when fear sits in the driver's seat, leadership turns inward and defensive. It stops being about the mission and starts being about self-preservation.
This is where the real damage begins.
Ego doesn’t just impact the leader. It infects the entire team. When ego rules, people stop speaking up. Talented individuals learn it’s safer to stay quiet than to risk challenging the boss’s view. Innovation dries up. Energy dies. No one wants to offer a bold new idea if they know it’ll be swatted down. Over time, the team starts to operate under a single rule: make the boss look good. That’s not leadership — that’s vanity management.
And here's the bitter irony: the ego-driven leader becomes the very bottleneck they claim to hate. They talk about wanting initiative, ownership, and proactivity, but they can’t let go of control. Every decision runs through them. Nothing moves without their input. The team becomes paralyzed, not because they’re incapable, but because they’ve learned to stop trying.
Some leaders call these “standards.” In reality, it’s fear disguised as professionalism. It’s ego, plain and simple.
So what’s the solution?
It starts with brutal honesty. Not about the team, but about yourself. When you feel the urge to interrupt, defend, or reject an idea out of hand — pause. Ask what you’re protecting. Is it the mission? Or your ego?
Start leading with questions. Not to catch people out, but to truly understand. Ask what others think. Listen to the answers. You might still have the final say, but you’ll have it from a place of strength, not insecurity.
Give away the credit. Let others shine. A secure leader knows that the spotlight doesn’t dim when it's shared — it multiplies. And when mistakes happen — and they will — own them. All of them. Not just the convenient ones. Because that’s where trust is built. Not in perfection, but in accountability.
Most importantly, build leaders around you. Not followers. Followers need you. Leaders challenge you. And the best leaders create environments where people grow strong enough to lead themselves.
Here's the truth many won't admit: leadership isn’t about being the hero of every story. It’s about being the guide. The one who makes space offers clarity and steps back enough for others to rise.
The ego will always try to pull you back to the centre of the stage. Don’t let it.
The best leaders I’ve worked with — whether in uniform, in business, or on the gym floor — aren’t the loudest. They aren’t the smartest person in the room. They’re the most curious. The most committed to growth — their own and their team's. They don’t walk into the room needing to prove something. They walk in asking: What can I learn? Who can I lift?
Strip the ego. Strengthen the team.
Until next time,